Conflicts in the workplace are inevitable, but what should you do when an issue develops with your boss? You don’t want to risk getting on your superior’s wrong side, or worse, lose your job, but at the same time, you feel you need to stand up to him or her. Whether the problem is a technical one, a management style disagreement, or a personality clash, there are ways that you can stand up to your boss without losing your job.
Speak up. First and foremost, it’s important that when a problem arises, you address it directly with your boss. Don’t complain behind his or her back to fellow colleagues or ignore it, hoping that it will go away on its own. That’s extremely unprofessional and counterproductive. Instead, use this as an opportunity to learn how to confront difficult situations and communicate effectively. Although the idea of voicing your disagreement with your manager may induce stress and anxiety, the sooner you have a mature and rational dialogue, the better off you will be.
Plan ahead. This sort of conversation is too sensitive to go in unprepared so don’t assume you can just “wing it.” Schedule a time to have a private conversation with your boss and then make a plan for presenting your statements. Spend some time determining what you believe the point of contention is between you and come up with reasonable ways that this can be resolved. Consider your boss’ viewpoint and be honest with yourself as to how others, including your boss, may perceive you and your own actions. List a few items that you are willing to be flexible with or ways you are willing to change.
Remain positive. Don’t start the conversation with the negatives. You want to approach the problem from a goal-oriented perspective. Begin by complimenting something that is working well and reinforce how you are both seeking the best for the team and/or company. Next, state your concerns and intent for having this conversation. Ask your manager if they are also experiencing friction or noticing any negative impacts and then discuss recommendations for how to resolve the issue. If at any time you notice your boss getting upset or defensive, remind him or her of your positive intentions and ask them to share their concerns.
Be respectful. Despite whatever differences you may have with your manager, you must remain respectful. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Remember to be assertive, not aggressive, throughout your conversation. Refrain from shouting, using insults and harsh criticisms, or name-calling. If you sense tensions are beginning to run high, suggest taking some time to ruminate over the issue and then reconnect once you have had a chance to consider some possible solutions.
Conclude with a plan. At the end of your conversation, there should be a plan in place of actionable items to help resolve the issue, even if the plan is to reconvene at a later time to continue to address the matter. This resolution should be agreed by and be fair to both parties.
Get to this point by engaging your manager throughout your discussion to help problem solve. Offer up ways in which you are willing to ensure that the problem is addressed.
Stay focussed. At the end of the day, this is a work relationship and there may always be a clash between you and your manager. Acknowledge this, but stay company-focussed. You may not end up being friends with your boss, but you don’t need to be. Instead, work to ensure that you both act respectfully towards one another and are willing to put aside personal differences in order to achieve professional success. The least you can both do is agree to work together professionally and respectfully for the greater good of the company. If this still does not work despite your best attempts, it may be time to get HR involved.
